In an era of social distancing, these Edward Hopper paintings are just so perfect. Brain Pickings has been posting some wonderful quotes about being alone and being still and finding peace in the solitude. I really love this poem: KEEPING QUIET by Pablo Neruda Now we will count to twelve and we will all keep still. For once on the face of the earth, let’s not speak in any language; let’s stop for one second, and not move our arms so much. It would be an exotic moment without rush, without engines; we would all be together in a sudden strangeness. Fisherman in the cold sea would not harm whales and the man gathering salt would look at his hurt hands. Those who prepare green wars, wars with gas, wars with fire, victories with no survivors, would put on clean clothes and walk about with their brothers in the shade, doing nothing. What I want should not be confused with total inactivity. Life is what it is about; I want no truck with death. If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves and of threatening ourselves with death. Perhaps the earth can teach us as when everything seems dead and later proves to be alive. Now I’ll count up to twelve and you keep quiet and I will go. As I wrap up this year's Slice of Life, I wanted to put out a few things I have collected over the last few weeks. A collection of Edward Hopper paintings (among dozens of other memes about isolation and being an introvert) and the poem above which is especially lovely. The Fairfield Porter painting above was new to me, and I absolutely love it.
Due to the global pandemic, there is a long list of topics that I had considered writing about this month, but they didn't make the cut: Art duel Adapter and the 6th grade party Primary colors The King's Mouth Painting Class The Artisan Teacher? A Moveable Feast (in joplin) Hotels in KC (21c museum?) Poem about fireball Fires in Australia Reading Goal/books Pillows 2001 diary (memoir) The end of Nelliepalooza COC show Maybe I will return to these ideas next year....I'm still considering writing this blog for the duration of the social distancing (through the end of April) just to have something to do every day...and as a place to record my thoughts during this crazy time. If I continue writing, see you tomorrow---depends on how I feel when I wake up....if not, see ya next year! And, that's my slice!
0 Comments
We were assigned the book Art and Fear in my Art Theory class and told to share a little about our favorite passages. I thought it would make a great blog post....even though a lot is going on in the world right now, I still think it is important to figure out who I am as an artist and what I want to say...
“fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work, while fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.” This quote probably resonates with me the most in my own work. Putting yourself out there is hard, especially when you think that everyone has high expectations for you. It feels bad when people are critical. When someone doesn’t like something you made, especially someone that you respect or love, it feels bad...it is hard to explain how bad it feels, but it feels like you have disappointed them in some way because your creation (a thing that did not exist before you created it from your mind, with your own two hands) might somehow disappoint that person because it isn’t quite up to their standards. It is completely irrational, but that fear is something that exists deep down and it is a big barrier to success, and it is demotivating. Knowing that you could have done better is one of the worst feelings in the world, knowing that you could have just spent a little more time, put a little more thought and effort into something might mean the difference between having something that you are proud to sign your name to versus something that just represents a huge waste of time. Being fearful that you just are not good enough to make that perfect ‘thing’ is another demotivator. What if I try and fail? If I try and believe that I will fail, why even try? If I try and succeed, it won’t quite be good enough anyway, so what is the point? I can’t do that, it looks too hard, and it isn’t worth it to me. These are all things that run through my mind when I am considering what to make. Also, this quote: “Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, judgement difficult. — Hippocrates (460-400 B.C.)” “The only work really worth doing — the only work you can do convincingly — is the work that focuses on the things you care about. To not focus on those issues is to deny the constants in your life.” I feel like the majority of what goes through my brain is discursive. I’m obsessively planning, making lists, figuring out what my next move is in terms of work, home, making dinner, packing for a weekend trip, and rehearsing conversations in my head. I don’t spend a lot of time in deep thought and careful concentration on what I really believe when it comes to bigger issues. This is a big barrier to my artmaking process. I’m too caught up in the planning of art making that I don’t make time to plan my art and I don’t really formulate ideas that are related to things I really care about. I don’t know what I really care about. I care ‘equally’ about all the big stuff (environment, politics, social issues) but none of those things resonate enough with me to inspire some sort of profound contemporary visualization. And some part of me thinks that the only things worth making art about are things that matter to me and to others. If the art piece doesn’t make someone think, then why bother? If the only things that I focus on are the minutia, then who really cares? Is there anything of value in that? Hasn’t someone else already had that point of view before me, and examined those same things in a similar way? How can my point of view be relevant? “And while a hundred civilizations have prospered (sometimes for centuries) without computers or windmills or even the wheel, none have survived even a few generations without art.” To answer the question from the last section, why bother to make art if it doesn’t matter? I guess that I fundamentally believe that I need to make art and it bothers me that I don’t have any answers to questions and that I can’t think about good enough questions to ask in my work. I know deep down that creating artwork is important for me as a human, and it is important for other people to look at artwork, to find beauty and truth in something created by another human…. Deep down, this phrase resonates with me as an art teacher too, I guess it is part of my teaching philosophy in many aspects. I needed art, and school provided me with an opportunity to make art and it changed my life. I love learning about other cultures, and how art permeates society. I have really loved learning all the new things in this class that I ‘knew’ but now I feel like I really know them...if that makes sense. “ART IS MADE BY ORDINARY PEOPLE. Creatures having only virtues can hardly be imagined making art. It’s difficult to picture the Virgin Mary painting landscapes. Or Batman throwing pots. The flawless creature wouldn’t need to make art.” It’s hard to imagine that Michaelangelo or Anselm Kiefer are ‘ordinary’ people. Um, no. They are extra-ordinary. We are all human, I get that...but it feels like they are geniuses. Elizabeth Gilbert has an amazing TED Talk called Your elusive creative genius. She talks about how prior to the Renaissance, the ancient Greeks and Romans blamed creative ideas on the daemons, the genius on your shoulder, the divine creature that gave ideas to the artists. During the Renaissance, after rational humanism took over and people started to be known for being geniuses she says that there is an overwhelming pressure to be creative, to have your next big idea, but maybe it doesn’t have to be quite so full of anguish if you can just accept that the most extraordinary aspects of your being did not come from you, maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life to be passed along when you’re finished, with somebody else. She also talks about another theory she has about ideas, which is even more fascinating, she explains how ideas are sort of swirling around, just waiting to be paired with a human at any given moment and if they are manifested with the right person at the right time, then magic transpires. This article is so great because she says that we are usually too distracted with our everyday distractions that we don’t notice….so I guess how this relates to this quote from Art and Fear, is that maybe true artists are ordinary people, they are just paired up with the right daemon, at the right time and they have the right frame of mind to accept magic, when it swirls past them and it’s really freaking hard to get into that headspace every day. “Doubts, in fact, soon rise in swarms: "I am not an artist -- I am a phony. I have nothing worth saying. I'm not sure what I'm doing. Other people are better than I am. I'm only a [student/physicist/mother/whatever]. I've never had a real exhibit. No one understands my work. No one likes my work. I'm no good”….. Art is a high calling -- fears are coincidental. “Writing is easy: all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead. — Gene Fowler” Of course I have doubts. Every time I make something ugly, I doubt my own intelligence, ability and creativity. I AM A PHONY. That is how I feel quite often. I HAVE NOTHING WORTH SAYING. True. OTHER PEOPLE ARE BETTER THAN ME. So, why bother. I feel like I know what it takes to get better and to be the best, but I’m too lazy and distracted by my own frivolous hobbies to spend time getting in the zone and putting forth the effort required to do the work. I want art to be a creative outlet AND I want everything I do to be a success. If it isn’t going to be worthy of a display, then why do it? This year, I challenged myself to do Inktober. Basically, it is a daily drawing prompt, every day for the entire month of October. I DID IT! Even while juggling a full time teaching job, graduate classes, parent teacher conferences, my husband’s birthday, and all the other things that make October ‘busy’. I didn’t have any extra time off, I made time to make art every day and at the end of the month, I felt like I had accomplished so much. This month (March 2020) I am participating in my 5th year of daily writing. Each day, I am writing a blog post about the mundane things in my life. I know that I am capable of accomplishing a lot, if I just push out the distractions and set goals. I don’t think other people realize how much time they actually have if they just make a point to try. “to require perfection is to invite paralysis. The pattern is predictable: as you see error in what you have done, you steer your work toward what you imagine you can do perfectly. You cling ever more tightly to what you already know you can do — away from risk and exploration, and possibly further from the work of your heart. You find reasons to procrastinate, since to not work is to not make mistakes. Believing that artwork should be perfect, you gradually become convinced that you cannot make such work. (You are correct.) Sooner or later, since you cannot do what you are trying to do, you quit. And in one of those perverse little ironies of life, only the pattern itself achieves perfection — a perfect death spiral: you misdirect your work; you stall; you quit.” I am a bit of a perfectionist. I try to say that I am not, because I am okay with some imperfection, but there are instances when I just cannot accept anything that is subpar. And I get disappointed in people when they fall short of my expectations. And I want certain situations to happen the way that I imagine them, and when they don’t I get extremely frustrated. I’m often guilty of pushing people away when they disappoint me because I would rather not have them around if they are going to continually let me down. I do that with my own art making---I land the perfect death spiral. I made very little art the first 10 years of my teaching career because it just wasn’t perfect and I was overwhelmed with the expectations of being the best teacher, wife, friend, etc. I’m getting better though. I’m learning to prioritize better. I’m starting to be more forgiving and that’s the best I can do. I’m also making more work through plein air sessions and experimentation that makes me happy, even though it isn’t ‘for’ something. “Artists don’t get down to work until the pain of working is exceeded by the pain of not working…..When you hold back, it holds back; when you hesitate, it stands there staring, hands in its pockets. But when you commit, it comes on like blazes.” These two quotes didn’t actually go together in the book, but I am combining them here for the sake of brevity. I believe that I do suffer when I am not engaged in any art making. My relationships suffer, my motivation suffers and my soul suffers. When I don’t make time for art, either looking at art OR making art, I get overwhelmed by everything else and I am unhappy. I don’t always realize it at the time, but it happens and it takes a little introspection to come to that conclusion. For 10 years, I hosted an event called Nelliepalooza. Basically, I invited all my scrapbooking friends and several of my artists friends to a local campground for a weekend twice a year. We hired a cook to make all of our meals, slept in bunk beds and spent the entire weekend drinking coffee, and just making stuff. Looking back, I know that I made excuses 90% of the time when I did not make stuff at home because I was ‘saving it’ for Nellipalooza. I would always get a lot done on those weekends, but I also endured a lot of stress to make those weekends happen as I had to be in charge of up to 45 other women and their neediness. I do not do well with needy people. I would get angry and frustrated and stressed. So I quit hosting Nelliepalooza last year. I agree with the second half of the quote that when you commit, “it comes on like blazes.” I was always able to get in the zone at Nelliepalooza. I didn’t have to cook, do laundry, or clean or do any of the things that distract me at home, I ONLY had my art supplies to focus on, so in some ways, I invented a ‘creative bubble’ and I was able to be productive every single time. “An old proverb cautions: if you chase two rabbits, you catch neither.” Basically, they are saying that you cannot be a good teacher AND a good artist. I think this is my main critique of this book. I think this entire section is discouraging a career in a teaching field….this quote specifically implies that you CANNOT be a GOOD teacher and a SUCCESSFUL artist. To some extent, I agree with them. I think it is incredibly hard to be a full time artist and a full time educator and do both really well. Public education just is not designed to support the lifestyle of an artist unless you are willing to let some things go. I think Dustin does a good job balancing his art practice and his teaching practice, probably the best I’ve ever seen. I really admire his dedication: he runs marathons, sets up at art fairs, gets his work into exhibits in KC, sells his work at local galleries, and finds time to take classes---I think I am busy and then I find out that Dustin just did a triathlon over the weekend and I’m like WOW!!! In conclusion, I think overall this is a great book and I’m glad I read it and I probably need to read it every year just for the motivation. The past 5 years, I have been doing the slice of life writing challenge by blogging every day for the month of March. I have always been successful because I have been diligent in my goal---I've always planned out my blog posts (making notes throughout the year) about relevant topics and then setting myself to work on the harder posts on the weekends, and then making final edits and publishing them throughout the week. This year, I was worried that I would not be able to finish the challenge because I was going to be out of the country for over a week, but that is not what happened. Instead, a global pandemic came to fruition and challenged the very fabric of what it is to be alive in the current era. All the things I've blogged about in the past seem to be insignificant and irrelevant compared to the issues facing society today. I've been completely absorbed in the news, the daily press briefings by the president and the governor.....looking at twitter, instagram and facebook constantly for information..... I start back to 'school' tomorrow via online learning, and I am still unsure about how that will play out in the midst of the crisis we are facing as a society. Over the past two weeks, as the reality has begun to truly sink in---the realization that people I know will probably lose people or die as a result of this virus, I have had a lot of rough moments...I've been an emotional wreck on several occasions, trying to go on walks, and make art as a means to keep myself occupied, but as the death toll climbs and the number of infections grows, so does the fear. Today, the president said in his press briefing that the government will maintain the recommendation to keep the social distancing guidelines in place through April 30th. At first, they said through March 30th....now, we are looking at another month and I think I will be okay for a few more weeks, but my birthday will be in quarantine, as will Easter, and all of the fun stuff that normally happens at the end of the school year... My school recently announced that we would be extending our 'wellness break' through April 24th....will we even go back this year? What does the end of the year look like if we don't go back until April 24th? How do we just show back up with 3.5 weeks left and still cram everything in? How do we maintain our relationships with students remotely? How will I survive the summer if we DON'T go back after the 24th? I don't know how I will survive all of the alone time if I don't find something really engaging to do for the entire summer.... Well, I was supposed to go to Jamaica for spring break. That trip got canceled...but I still have to spend the next few weeks completing coursework as if I had actually visited the country in order to fulfill the Jamaican Art History course through MSSU. Our course provides the artwork for the 'Caribbean Semester' exhibit next fall, which is the first event in the themed semester on campus. I have to create artwork about a trip I did not take. Neat.
Luckily, I have actually ben to Jamaica. I have several ideas about how I might proceed, but I'm still working things out in my mind. I'm inspired by Albert Huie's landscape paintings. Particularly the idea that he painted a lot of plants that were not native to Jamaica, but his paintings make up nearly all of the quintessential 'Jamaican' landscape genre paintings. I am planning to paint local landscapes in oil, focusing on the flowering trees that are not native to Missouri. I will be creating a collection of acrylic and oil paintings--doing some in plein air--and then picking a few to make larger. I'm not sure how many of those I will paint, depends on the weather. I visited Jamaica in 2007 and 2011, so I want to look back through my photos from those experiences, and consider how I might incorporate those images into my work...I also have a couple of carved wooden sculptures from Jamaica, I thought about setting those up and doing some still life studies. I have a self-portrait in watercolor from 2011, that I might revisit as I started it and never finished it... As you can see, my thoughts are kind of all over the place....I am just going to start making work and see what happens! I promise, I will have the focus narrowed down the next couple of weeks... For now, I just need a few perfect days while the trees are in bloom! So over this entire school year, I have gotten in the habit of taking salad for my lunch at school. Sometimes I take those wal-mart pre-made salads, I really like their chef salad that is super basic. A salad at lunch is boring but it fills me up and makes me feel like I made at least one healthy choice for the day, even if I often binge on chips after school. I've taken so many of the wal-mart salads, that I've gotten a little bored and stared coming up with my own combinations and I just wash/reuse the clear plastic containers a few times before recycling them. I love the containers because they keep everything separated until I am ready to eat. I started keeping a really yummy dairy-free dressing on hand too because it is good on almost every salad combination! It is the Blue Top brand creamy street dressing with coconut milk. It isn't spicy, just yummy. This is the most common recipe that I like...it is easy to make up 4 of them on Sundays, to take throughout the week. The pickled beets and frozen peas MAKE this salad so yummy. I make it with feta or just any shredded cheese. LUNCH ham, chopped Pickled beets Frozen peas (and carrots) Shredded cheese Today I was really hungry but I didn't feel like cooking...I made the same salad with turkey and it was soo good!! Even better when I break out the fancy china to eat on! Trying to stay productive.
Trying to go on walks. I've walked/hiked every day this week--except Monday because it was just too cold and rainy. Today, I did about 3 miles. I'm trying to wrap up some projects that I have had planned for a while. I painted my front door. I took down the old wall paper in the entryway. It didn't take that long and it was pretty easy! I also touched up paint in the living room and bathroom, which has been needing done for a while. I cleaned the screen door and wiped down the baseboards in the hallway, entryway and bathroom. I went to the park for about 2 hours and started 2 new plein air paintings. I loaded the dishwasher. I updated some stuff for my class next week. I organized the front closet and cleaned it out. I had lunch on the screened in porch. I spent a lot of time alone. The weather today reached 80 degrees. The Stapleton teachers drove by honking their horns for a 'car parade'. It was so sweet. It was a busy day....but maybe I should pace myself as I'm going to run out of stuff to do. Over the past 2 years, have been figuring out what my life as a painter looks like by learning as much about painting as I can. I have admitted to myself that painting is somewhat of a calling....
In fall 2018, I started taking oil painting classes at MSSU which has meant a twice-weekly checkin at the college for instruction and critique. Last summer, I spent a week at the KCAI art educators lab and had the incredible instructor Jonah Criswell. In the fall of 2019, I continued painting through an oil painting class at MSSU with my awesome professor Kyle Mckenzie and started meeting up with the MSSU plein air society for painting around the community. We painted at a 3rd thursday event and we've gone to parks and the falls in Joplin. Just painting, isn't enough...I find myself wanting to connect with other painters....I found an incredible podcast called the Savvy Painter, it is an amazing resource to connect with other artists. Through the podcast, I have started following tons of contemporary painters on instagram. One of the artists I follow is Jordan Wolfson. Last week, I noticed that he was hosting a Zoom webinar over the work of impressionist Paul Cezanne. I had never done a zoom conference at that point, but I decided to tune in and wow, it was an amazing discussion. There were over 40 other people taking part in the discussion. Some things I jotted down: -If I think when I paint, it all goes to pieces. --The fleeting and the changeless. --Cezanne--constant change --objective--proportions could change, look into the motif and give it attention --Wasn't making things up, but interpreting what was there based on the needs of the rectangle --Dynamic equilibrium ---Nature, rectangle, and himself ---traditional/light/topography/form/space ---Making a painting of his visual experience BOOK: Earl Lorain's book on Cezanne's composition Today, Jordan hosted another webinar and it was incredibly powerful. I took a whole lot more notes and I want to write down my thoughts while they are fresh in my mind. Searching for Presence in Giacometti's paintings. In a documentary, Giacometti sculpted throughout the whole interview and when asked why, he said: "It keeps the fear away." Giacometti was a Swiss sculptor and painter (did a few surrealist sculptures in the beginning), but eventually went to Paris and continued making work during the Nazi occupation of Paris. That notion of keeping the fear away definitely helped Giacometti to grapple with his experience. Still life--record of his engagement with the world in front of him, questioning his space....record of him grappling with his experience through his perception. Coming to terms through the painting. The fear falls away, when we are in the moment of 'being'. There is no fear, an experience of just 'being' places us in our now...fear is in the future...but just being allows us to be fully present in the moment. Jordan read from the book Keeping a Rendevoux by John Berger. Reading from a section called 'being seen' he honed in on the section about how Corbet's painting wasn't only about 3 fish hanging, it was about the light energy---the reflection---which becomes the true subject of the painting. Painters search for messages which come from beyond the visible. Behind a given set of appearances, and are rewarded with a kind of truth because painters look so hard at what lies beyond. Through mark making. To draw is to receive, it is not just about measuring and looking. In the present confusion of the day we are living in, it is important to find a sense of being, in the present moment--to find relief. Tera management--the existential absurdity of we are all going to die, but finding peace in the collapse of the subject/object relationship---finding beauty, the dropping into the sense of 'being' through perception or the experience of beauty. (Look up rupert spina) As makers we are given the gift to transform into 'being present' and we are able to step into an eternal moment and find relief from the anxiety of the fear of whatever is in the future, beyond this moment. Greetings artists,
As a generation, you are being asked to unite as a brave collective to overcome a crisis. The fight will be challenging, relentless, and fatiguing. But, we will win and brighter days will return. Please follow the guidelines provided by health services to protect your health so that you can enjoy a full life when things return to normal. Please help me begin planning some art enrichment activities by completing the survey that is posted on Canvas. I'm not sure what the next few weeks hold for us, but I definitely want to connect with you and give you support in reaching your artistic goals. Tell your parents you love them. Help your family around the house. Support each other, lift one another up, and remember that we are all just doing the best we can with the situation that we have been given. Remember, spending a little quiet time making art will help you feel better, it will help distract you, and it can bring you inner peace. I miss you guys so much. Please connect with me:
Take care of yourselves bulldogs, I’m here for you. ~Mrs. Mitchell Yesterday I talked about how hard it is to stay at home and do nothing because as humans we want to help in any way that we can and that usually means assembling in groups and actually working together. But now, we are being told that we should not do that under any circumstances.
Today, I filmed/face-timed with Jesse Irwin, the morning news anchor on KOAM. He was working at his house and I was working at my house and we were both making art projects and crafts that parents could do at home with their kids. The 3-minute segments will be airing on the morning show later this week and will be posted on their website too. We made coffee painting, aluminum foil sculptures, leaf rubbings, action marble paintings, and coffee filter butterflies. We both scrounged around the house for as many things as we could find that we already had on hand and I explained the process while he followed along. The idea is that even if a family doesn't have many supplies at home, they could still do a craft and make something together as a distraction, for fun. I guess you could say that I am photogenic, but admittedly, I stink at interviews and acting in general....I'm hoping the footage is usable, because I feel like all I did was laugh at his mess ups and say the word 'thing' over and over again. It felt good to contribute, to be productive and to feel like I was 'helping' in some sort of way.....I was able to use my talents and resources to do something for the greater good. I'm not curing the Corona, but I'm at least trying to cure the boredom and help people who are taking care of kids. Panic buying.
Caremongering. Social distancing. Quarantine. Global pandemic. Stay-at-home order. Rationing. Coronavirus. Immunity. Unprecedented. Contact tracing. Containment. Mitigation. Transmission. Okay kids, new vocabulary list. These are all words that have never entered my vocabulary unless I was talking about a sci-fi book or a movie. I think most of us can honestly say we are living in a new reality and the next few weeks and months will have a profound effect on our society moving forward. I think the hardest part of social distancing is that usually in a crisis, everyone feels like they have to actively participate and 'pitch in' with a fundraiser or a crowd-sourcing event that brings in bodies volunteer or help clean up a disaster or raise money. The current crisis does the opposite. We are basically ordering people to stay at home and do 'nothing' in order to make all the difference, which makes everyone feel like they aren't helping or being productive. Humans have a desire to come together and by pulling us apart, we are all feeling a little stressed and anxious. I'm finding it difficult to be 'productive' this week. Even though I'm at home and I'm cooking more than I normally have time to, I am accomplishing way less than on a typical day off....I just can't wrap my mind around the constant stream of news and I'm trying to stay connected with people via social media/texting so I'm practically glued to my phone and computer all day, which is counter-productive to actually completing very many tasks....my to-do list is rather short....I don't have errands to run, or lunches to pack or gifts to buy or work deadlines to meet. I'm looking forward to getting a little direction from my principal on Tuesday regarding what the next few weeks of distance learning should look like and I'm anxious about how much work that will actually be for me. I will also have some homework activities for my graduate classes that I will need to do and I'm looking forward to having those assignments to fill the void. I can only watch so much t.v. before I just get bored....and I can only work on artwork so much, until I just need to get up and move. I'm hoping I can feel more productive this week, I'm planning to paint the front door and re-do the entry way...as it is supposed to warm up a little bit, I'm planning to get out and walk more. I had a couple of rough days this week with panic and crying and fear. I think those feelings are behind me and I'm ready to move forward into whatever reality lies ahead. |
Mrs. Mitchell
This is my 'slice of life' blog. Archives
March 2020
My Art Teacher Blog:
This Little Class of Mine CategoriesOther Slice Blogs:
For Good I Like Big Books Life is a Slice The Cardinal Way KochUnaSlice YouWannaPieceofMeBlog Dr. Zornes' Slice of Life Sunshine Rays Two Writing Teachers Favorite Everyday Writer: Reesie Writes |