Well it finally happened. I forgot to post yesterday. My first missed 'slice' in 6 years. And for really no good reason.
I had the entire day off. I spent the morning online shopping, Jeremy went to work so I made the bed, put away laundry and dishes. I straightened up the bedroom and started building some shelves for the kitchen. I had to go to Home Depot to buy the wood, but then I came home and took out the recycling, sanded the wood, measured the wood and cut the wood. At 1:00, Leslie picked me up and we went to Wildcat Glades for the long hike---and took Leo. He did great on the trail, he was a very good listener and stayed with us even though I let him run off the leash a little bit. Leslie and I had good chats about plants and teaching and cooking and everything else. When I got home from the hike, I was sore and tired, but I felt a burst of creativity so I started an abstract painting. The creative burst felt like a jolt out of the old pandemic brain funk and into a new mindset, but as soon as Jeremy got home, it was gone and I was in a terrible mood. I was angry because when I asked him what he wanted to do for the evening, he had not thought about it and had no ideas. Literally could not name one thing he wanted to do. He just kept asking me what I wanted to do, and I wanted to do whatever he wanted to do but he had no ideas and no plan. So, I got in the shower, washed my hair, got dressed, and promptly left the house. The anger and rage, it was something I have felt many times over the past 12 months. I think I was jealous and disappointed that I have been sitting around at home and running errands for this entire week off, while everyone else is seemingly at the beach or Disney, and we are so lame we couldn't even come up with one single 'fun' idea for the evening. I've had 9 days off and I've barely left the house, and I've spent most of it alone and it is very reminiscent of the lockdown and also very disappointing. So I went to Books-A-Million and perused the stacks. I picked up a magazine about Colorado, to help with planning our trip in June. As I walked around the bookstore, it seemed like every self-help book ever written was popping off at me: "Control Your Rage" "Finding Your Happy" "Getting your Zen back" or whatever....the titles were signs but I was in the mood to give them the silent treatment. After about an hour, I realized that I was famished but when I got in the car to leave, I could not think of where to go. So really, I was not mad at Jeremy for not planning the Friday night, I was mad at myself because I couldn't even think of anywhere that sounded good, even though I was hungry. I found myself at Magic Noodle. I ordered curry and and sat alone, reading my magazine. Last weekend, I had trimmed the boxwood bushes in our backyard, and a rash developed, it started itching as I sat, my neck red and inflamed. While eating, a coworker stopped by my table to say hi. It was weird to be alone at a restaurant, it felt pathetic and lame. So I went home, mostly because of my itching, but also because I could not think of anywhere else to go. And I went to bed early, feeling both better and worse in some ways. Here are some cute photos of my cute puppy to go with today's post:
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Mrs. Mitchell
This is my 'slice of life' blog. Archives
March 2020
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